At Last, Chris Christie Gets a Job Offer

After months of disappointment, the New Jersey governor is said to finally be in line for a top administration job. According to unidentified sources, Donald Trump will appoint New Jersey Governor Chris Christie his official food taster, a position President Franklin Pierce discontinued in the 1850s. “Nobody died,” Pierce said at the time, “and my food got cold.”

The position was apparently rediscovered by Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, who recommended Christie, the man who sent his father to prison a decade ago.

It represents a stunning turnaround for Christie, following a series of stinging defeats that had caused many to write him off. Last summer Trump offered the New Jersey governor the vice presidential spot on his ticket, only to take it back and give it to Mike Pence. Trump later named Christie to lead his transition team, but last week he summarily sacked him and handed that job too over to Pence. This time Christie seems safe. Pence said he has no interest in the position. “My plate’s full.”

Christie was thrilled, saying “I get to sit beside Mr. Trump at every meal.” He vehemently denied he had ever called the president-elect an “Indian giver” and compared his job’s importance to that of the Minister of Public Enlightenment, a portfolio that recently went to Stephen K. Bannon.

“Mr. Trump makes all his decisions in his gut,” Christie said, “and let me assure the American people that nothing is getting into Mr. Trump's gut that hasn’t gone through mine first.”