Breaking News

• This morning Hillary Clinton notified Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) that she will turn over all 60,000 emails from her tenure as secretary of state, including those that were supposedly deleted. She will also give Gowdy’s committee the server from her Chappaqua home and 10,000 additional emails she had forgotten to mention. “I talked it over with Bill,” Clinton said. “It’s the right thing to do. Whatever happens, happens. But I’d rather feel good about myself than be president.” • As temperatures in Tulsa hit the high 80s, Senator James Inhofe pledged his support for President Obama’s blueprint for drastically cutting America’s greenhouse gas emissions. Asked about his apparent about face on global climate change, the chairman of the Senate Committee on the Environment said, “I don’t care what the science says, it’s already pushing 90 degrees down here, and it’s only April 1^st. And you know what? It’s not getting any cooler – scientists now say we are facing a ‘megadrought’ – the worst drought in 1,000 years.”

• “I wish I’d known about this sooner,” said Ted Cruz after his first visit to a doctor under his new health insurance plan. “I had no idea. I got an appointment with my own doctor and a low co-pay. This is so much better than Heidi’s coverage at Goldman, Sachs. So how come it isn’t available to every American – just like it is in Canada where I was born?”

• Today President Obama issued an executive order closing Guantanamo Bay.

April Fool’s.