Mitt Dumps Newt 

Withdraws Treasury Offer in Wake of Bounced Check

Amid the continuing fall-out over the return of the Gingrich campaign’s $500 check for insufficient funds, Mitt Romney has dropped Newt Gingrich from consideration as Secretary of the Treasury in his administration. The money was the filing fee for Utah’s presidential primary.

“After watching his handling of Callista’s Tiffany bills,” said a Romney spokesperson, “we were impressed with the Speaker’s nimbleness with large deficits. Unfortunately, the situation has called that into question, and Governor Romney will go in a different direction.”

Asked if the Koch brothers were now under consideration for the cabinet post, she declined comment.

Calling the matter “one of those goofy things,” Gingrich said he expected to be competitive in Utah now that Jon Huntsman is out of the race.

“Five hundred dollars!” Romney later told a convention of restaurant chain owners, “I wouldn’t leave that little as a tip.”

“Unless,” he chuckled, “the service was really bad.”

In other stumbles:

• North Korea’s ballyhooed launch of its $450-million satellite lasted about a minute, at which point the Kwangmyongsong, or “Bright Shinning Star,” disintegrated and fell into the Yellow Sea.

• Hilary Rosen apologized to Ann Romney in the so-called Mommy Flap, which is indicative of how irrelevant so much of this campaign is to most people’s lives.

• France’s Beaujolais wine producers issued a statement denying any link to China’s disgraced former future leader, Bo Xilai.